We Can Only Hope|My Music and About It

the given-up angel called me last night-
but his ex-girlfriend was on the waiting line
and he hung up on me to talk to her.

he never called back. i spent
last night waiting by the
phone.

my eating plan is not going well.
i am seeing no improvement
and whenever i can help i'm
off buying chocolate.

my parents are always angry
with me.

"you need to eat."

i'm currently on restriction
because i skipped lunch for
a week.

but i'll keep going with this.
i need to get all of this excess
skin off me.
____________________
a list of the artists i listen to
and why i do so
and a favorite song
by them.
not all the artists.

afi-they're a solid band with a lead singer who i admire not just as a lyricist and a musician, but as a person. all of the playing is expert as the band has been around since the 1990s. curiously when i was born.
listen for-kiss and control off of decemberunderground

aiden-an excellent blend of styles (namely punk) with lyrics that are good (but in my humble opinion incorporate the word 'die' a little too often-anyways, who am i to complain?) and whose tunes are catchy.
listen for-die romantic off of nightmare anatomy

alesana-a wonderful hardcore band. you'll like it more if you're into screamy phowarrgh. interesting twist-incorporates the greek myth of icarus, a favorite of mine.
listen for-congratulations, i hate you off of on frail wings of vanity and wax

armor for sleep-generic sounding rock band. the albums tell a story which is good. ths music is great as a background soundtrack for when you work on other things.
listen for-kind of perfect off of dream to make believe

boys like girls-they call themselves emo, but their music sounds much more pop-rock to me. the next fall out boy in my opinion, but hey, i can say i knew them when. great sound, only downside is that their title is also the extent of their subject matter.
listen f0r-dance hall drug off the self-titled album

chiodos-great vocals for another otherwise normal band. very interesting lyrics, some mythology here too.
listen for-the acoustic of lindsay quit lollygagging off of all's well that ends well

escape the fate-bang smash in your face hello there my name is escape the fate. good stuff right there, very original. they use a cello!
listen for-the day i left the womb off the self-titled album

evanecence-how i got into music. very accessible, with a host of great music. all the not-as-good ones get overplayed.
listen for-lacrymosa off the open door

fall out boy-don't care for their normal stuff, but the acoustic songs are delicious. for example, nobody puts baby in the corner. they ruined it when they plugged it in, but the acoustic b-side is heaven.
listen for-nobody puts baby in the corner off my heart will always be on the b-side of things

flyleaf-an acidic band with absolutely wicked femme vocals. christian too, so no cussing and lots of fun.
listen for-so i thought off the self-titled album

kill hannah-a little electronic, a little emo, and a whole lotta fun. femaleish vocals with sleek lyrics and awesome talent.
listen for-unwanted off for never and never

my chemical romance-i love this band, despite how people say that it's not 'genuine'. i believe in music and if you're sincere then it's belief in being. anyway, another bunch of artists who are not merely great writers and musicians, but great people.
listen for-desert song off life on the murder scene

underoath-brash, loud, and a christian band to boot. what's not to like?
listen for-some will seek forgiveness, others escape off they're only chasing safety

the used-another band that's sincere. lyrics are just the right amount of screwed up, and these guys take technical adventrousness to a whole new level.
listen for-poetic tragedy off of a box full of sharp objects

Invisible

i glimpsed the demon again-
how can we be so much alike
yet on such different planes?

i am eating too much and i hate myself for it.

i doubt people can see me anymore. every day i take my lunch alone and write/read.

i can't remember the last time someone touched me.

It's Been A While

so I went to bible study for the first time in forever.

anyway, i got into a discussion about doctrine. my personal doctrine is that people should be allowed to do whatever makes them happy as long as it doesn't infringe on other people's happiness. that statement is essentially what I base my life on.

somehow the topic strayed to gay marriage. this i am fine with because it doesn't infringe on the happiness of other people and it makes them happy (before it begs the question of all those people who are like "gay marriage will condemn our country", they are the ones who condemn our faith to a early grave. In my humble opinion, the church needs to realize that while we should present the opportunity to become a christian and be strong in what we believe, we need to modernize and realize that not everyone will accept the church and that some are quite comfortable with what they believe.) however, everyone else seems to think that this is morally wrong. tt may be for our beliefs. but we cannot force our religion on other people.

though i am not arguing that homosexuality is not a sin, i believe you can belong to the church and still feel that way. I mean, christians are not perfect. see any divorced churchgoers? divorce is described as a sin, but divorced people still attend the church. church is not a place for people to look down their noses at those who have sinned, rather, it is a place for those who have sinned.

liars, adulterers, the greedy, prideful people, and many other people with character flaws attend church. had they no imperfections, they would have no need to be there in the first place.

of course everyone thinks I'm wrong because my view isn't commonly accepted. maybe I am wrong. at least i believe in what i'm saying.

Stardust Dissolving

lately i have dreamt of being a girl in a band.

i want to touch people and cause them to change. i want to make things sound. i want to be a role model.

that's what i want.

had choir practice.
i will never measure up.