Warring of the Spidermen and Human Conscience

it's late.
i'm alone
and sick to my stomach.

secret pals in choir today...
mine is the only girl whose guts i hate
and the only non-feminine guy in there keeps hitting on me.

babysat the boys today.
they were angels
much better than last time
and their dog no longer hates me.

i don't know when i realized i bent.
maybe it was last night
the night before?
tonight?
the first time i was at the firefly's house?

my white pajamas are used tonight
haven't worn them in forever,
as they would show blood too soon.

lovely got me a new poembook
to replace the full one.
i love him.

but only as a friend.
will i regret last night?

still stomache.
tired as hell.
goodnight and goodbye.

--------------------

sing me to sleep, my black haired angels
and tell me how you miss me so
for when life itself is hell
can you show me where to go?

keep singing, perfect faces
take me into refuge dreams
for when breathing shatters being
only sleep silences screams.

oh heaven's demons, do not cry
and over my sad carcass weep
for yours is the heaven i want
in everlasting eternal sleep.